


Locker Room Talk

by coffeegoose



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Gen, Ransom loves his team, SMH is full of gross stinky boys, Samwell Men's Hockey Team - Freeform, the boys joking around
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:54:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23563372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeegoose/pseuds/coffeegoose
Summary: Ransom's life experience in the locker room and with the team.he knows hockey can be gross? but these boys? nasty.and yes, he loves them for it.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 41





	Locker Room Talk

**Author's Note:**

  * For [the gals apart of Simping for Elly gc](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=the+gals+apart+of+Simping+for+Elly+gc).



> backstory for this fic: I am in a group chat with three of my weirdest friends. don't get me wrong, I love them, but they are absolutely disgusting. we all laugh and joke about it but the conversations we have are probably some of the grossest/funniest things I have ever been apart of. you cannot make these convos up so I felt compelled to use them with SMH because they're hockey boys, ofc they're gross.
> 
> anyways I love my friends and love these boys so I decided to combine the two.
> 
> what's funny is that every single one of these convos are ones I've had with them. 
> 
> without further ado, enjoy!

Ransom has been playing hockey since he can remember. Everything about hockey culture has impacted a piece of who he is. Obviously there have been awful things happen to him on, and off, the ice. Racism is still very much alive within the sport; nothing disheartens Justin more. He doesn’t let it dig too deeply into him, though. If he can push past the negativity, he will become a role model for kids just like himself.

The most challenging aspect of working through the pain was the locker room. Teammates just didn’t know how to keep their mouths shut. To keep them void of slurs. He could be standing in front of everybody and they would still spew poison. 

So Justin did the only thing he could: he didn’t overstay his welcome. He hardly ever found himself in the locker room.

When Justin found himself at Samwell, and the Ransom everyone grew to love there as well, he realized something. He realized while all locker rooms are fucking disgusting, the award goes to SMH. It was horrifying, gut wrenching, and downright boinked you in the ass. The things these boys said would make you wish you were in a deaf man’s shoes. Thankfully, it wasn’t because of homophobic or racial slurs. No, it was because the Samwell Men’s Hockey team was vulgar. 

“Damn, my farts smell like shit and it’s making me miss y’all.” Shitty said. The whole room argued that they are all together when Shitty countered back saying he always misses them. Dex was the most disturbed by the comment and yelled out “SHITTY…”

“IDK whether to feel insulted or touched? But also my farts are 100 percent more powerful.” Nursey chimed in.

Dex shifted in his stall before putting on an oddly touched face and claiming “Shitty really do be missing how fucking stinky we are.” Nursey found it fitting to bring the team in for a group hug, “I’m so touched right now.” he said over the group laughing.

Ransom simply laughed along, slightly disgusted by how gross hockey teams can be.

**_________**

It was a few weeks later, all though not in the locker room but the SMH group chat, when Shitty texted. 

_SMH STUNKIES_

**Shitty:** my dog: rips ass

me: *cries in hockey*

**Dexy-Doodle:** omFG

**Nursery Rhyme:** i actually just laughed out loud at that.

Ransom stared at his phone. He’s not even shocked anymore. It’s more like an odd sense of admiration for the team. There is just something about being called stinky as a compliment that makes Ransom question his own sanity.

**_________**

Ransom is very thankful that the locker room isn’t homophobic (its hella supportive actually). Logically, there’s no reason for bad LR talk because Jack and Bitty are dating, he and Holster are definitely _something_ , and he’s positive Dex and Nursey have some sort of romantic relationship that they’re failing at keeping on the down low. Almost half of the team is a part of the LGBT+ community. This doesn’t mean awkward queer sex conversations don’t come up.

Nursey was joking around when everyone could hear him debating something with Bitty.

“Look man, this is you at all times,” Nursey pitched his voice into a southern accent, “‘I will do all I can to avoid being called a bottom.’ like man! I see through your schemes. You’re a total bop.”

Bitty’s face was fighting back a smile, trying to be defensive, “Okay. Here’s the thing. I would be a bop-” Nursey’s face lit up but Bitty stuck a finger out silencing him. “FOR LIKE ONE PERSON. Otherwise I am a top.”

When Bitty lowered his hand Nursey grinned wickedly before he said one name. “Beyonce.”

“Okay, two people.”

“JACK!!! OH MY GOD GET IT BITTY!” Nursey shouted loudly and the entire locker room erupted into laughs.

Ransom knew these people were gross, but this was just straight up (hah) hilarious in the crudest of ways.

**_________**

_SMH STUNKIES_

**Swolster:** guys I wish y’all had been here to hear the major ass I just ripped.

**Me:** BRO NO WAY I JUST RIPPED MAJOR ASS

**Nursery Rhyme:** the cackle I just let out sounded like a fucking demon omg

**Swolster:** BRO NO WAY,,,, we just had a moment:’)

Ransom sent a picture of him whipping a fake tear away before putting his phone down. Sometimes, he wondered if the nasty-ass nature of his friends is unique to them. How many more people out there smiled at their friends talking about ripping ass? Do they find it an odd blessing from the universe? 

Ransom loves these guys so much, and without them he doubts that he would have grown to accept his own nasty-ass nature.

**_________**

The season was starting to come to a close, and with no chance of making playoffs, the locker room after practice had a new air to it. Everyone seemed to smile a little larger, or laugh lighter. Because of this, chirping became even more brutal.

Nursey was currently ripping apart Dex’s personality, claiming he was much softer on this inside than he presented (which is absolutely true. Ransom has seen the way Dex looks at Nursey, or the softening stance while cooking in the kitchen with Bitty).

“I’m just saying you’re kinda like a tsundere.” 

“Holy shit bro, you’re so right” Holster said.

“Okay, what the fuck is a Tsunami, or whatever.” Dex was colored confused.

Ransom therefore went on a ramble explaining Tsundere personality traits, anime culture as a whole, and how Dex really does fit the description. 

“I am nOT A TSUNAMI, OKAY?” 

“Denial is a clear sign my friend.”

  
  


It was at an end of the season kegster a few days later when Ransom saw Dex standing next to Nursey. Curiously, he strutted over to see what was going down. If he’s correct, Dex is on Nursey Patrol tonight. 

Before interrupting their conversation Ransom stopped a few feet away. He noticed the fondness that was written across Dex. He huddled close to Nursey, whispering something in his ear that made him chuckle. Nursey didn’t seem intoxicated so what Ransom was witnessing was completely genuine.

He coughed gently before clapping Dex on the back. Dex’s face returned to it’s normal brick wall. Holster stood next to Ransom and must of noticed the change in his posture as well.

“Dexy Doodle, are really going to try saying you aren’t a tsundere? Admit it: you’re soft for your friends.” Holster swooned.

Ransom stepped up next, “Right now is the perfect example.”

Holster finished off his thought with “the tsunami: crashed. Dex: soft. Hotel: Trivago.”

Both Nursey and Ransom proceeded to spit out their drinks before laughing their asses off.

“Yeah, well. I’m not admitting I’m a tsunami or whatever but you’ve got me. I am soft for my friends.” 

All four of them smiles and joked around for a while before he and Holster decided to go to the dance floor, and Dex and Nursey headed back to the dorms. 

**_________**

Maybe being absolutely disgusting with your best friends isn’t for everybody. Maybe chirping each other to hell and back doesn’t float your boat. Ransom couldn't ignore the grin he got every time someone said they ripped ass, or his laughter towards the term bop. These boys bring Ransom more joy than he could ever have with normal people. He wouldn’t trade in the god awful jokes and smells for anything else.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this far! yes! my friends and I are nasty! but it's apart of their charm.


End file.
